- Jay: Let's have a butt.
- Max: No thanks, I don't smoke.
- Ernie "Ice": They're very health conscious in Los Angeles.
- Jay: You got any cash? Hollywood?
- Max: No.
- Ernie "Ice": Gee, we don't get any smokes from you. We don't get any cash. What am I supposed to do with my afternoon?
- Max: Maybe you could learn to breathe through your nose.
Tobias Jelinek - Jay
Omri Katz - Max
Larry Bagby - Ernie 'ice'

“- Dr. Brooke Powell: Is everything alright?
- Carrigan Burke: If it was, I wouldn't be here.”
Jane Adams - Dr. Brooke Powell
Jared Harris - Carrigan Burke

“Okay, please don’t take this the wrong way, but I’d rather swim butt-naked across the Ganges with a paper cut on my nipple and die a slow agonizing death from a viral infection than work with you.”
Kunal Nayyar - Raj Koothrappali

“Sarcasm is anger's uglycousin.”
Jack Nicholson - Dr. Buddy Rydell

“- Kurt: You know what your problem is, Margo? You're just too aggressive. Just chill-lax, you know?
- Margo: Shut up!”
Maxwell McCabe-Lokos - Kurt
Kelli Garner - Margo