“- Yzma: What?! A llama?! He's supposed to be dead!
- Kronk: Yeah, weird.
- Yzma: Let me see that vial.
- Yzma: This isn't poison! This is extract of.... llama! Oooh..
- Kronk: You know, in my defense, your poisons all look alike. You might think about re-labeling some of them.”

Eartha Kitt - Yzma
Patrick Warburton - Kronk

“- Abby Brewster: The gentleman died because he drank some wine with poison in it.
- Mortimer Brewster: How did the poison get in the wine?
- Martha Brewster: We put in wine because it's less noticeable. When it's in tea it has a distinct odor.”
Josephine Hull - Abby Brewster
Cary Grant - Mortimer Brewster
Jean Adair - Martha Brewster

“- Cheyenne: Did Darian ever tell you about a guy named Rick?
- Nick Eliot: Yeah, I think so. Said he was a friend, why?
- Cheyenne: He was her camp counselor. Darian had a crush on him.
- Nick Eliot: So?
- Cheyenne: He's dead. He ate something poison. Everyone thought it was an accident. But, Darian knows stuff. Stuff that other kids don't know.”
Amber Benson - Cheyenne
Cary Elwes - Nick Eliot

“On the list of things I expect to kill me, mercury poisoning ranks well below liver failure, struck by lightning and heart attack during sex. Guess which one I'm rooting for?”
Charlie Sheen - Charlie Harper

“- Rachel: Everyone is going to find out sooner or later.
- Greg: One thing you can do if you don't want to talk to anyone is just enter a subhuman state. Pretend you're someone annoying.
- Rachel: 'Hi Rachel, I'm really sorry you have cancer.'
- Greg: That's exactly what I'm talking about!”

Olivia Cooke - Rachel
Thomas Mann - Greg