“- Lt. Jake Stone: You arrested a waiter?
- Norman Robberson: Jake, he was rude.
- Lt. Jake Stone: Norman, you can't arrest people for being rude. If you could, all of New York City would be on Death Row.”
Jack Palance - Jake Stone
Chevy Chase - Norman Robberson

“- Beast: [pounds on Belle's door yelling] I thought I told you to come down to dinner!
- Belle: I'm not hungry!
- Beast: You'll come out, or I'll... I'll... I'll break down the door!
- Lumiere: Master, I could be wrong, but that might not be the best way to win the girl's affections.”
Robby Benson - Beast
Paige O'Hara - Belle
Jerry Orbach - Lumiere

“- Wolf: Virginia, please forgive me! I... I didn't mean to be so rude, it's just that my... my cycle is-is coming on! You see, once a month, I get very irrational and angry and I just wanna pick a fight with anyone who comes near me!
- Virginia Lewis: That sounds familiar.”
Scott Cohen - Wolf
Kimberly Williams-Paisley - Virginia Lewis

“- Chalmers: What did you do to this?
- Wolff: Emergency repair procedure number one.
- Chalmers: You kicked it?”
Andrea Marcovicci - Chalmers
Peter Strauss - Wolff

“Being miserable and treating other people like dirt is every New Yorker's God-given right.”
David Margulies - The Mayor of NY