“- Will Foster: We're the sum total of what has happened to us and how we processed it. That's what makes us us. It's all neurochemistry.
- Mona: Do you really believe that? That's all I am? Your children? Just pathways, electrical signals and chemistry? You have kids that love you and a wife that adores you and we have a scientist.”
Keanu Reeves - William Foster
Alice Eve - Mona Foster

“- Helen Cooper: You can't possible know who you are or how you'll respond to something until you try it.
- Jessica Stein: I happen to disagree. I happen to think that if you know yourself well, you can gauge how you're gonna react to something. And I pretty much assure you that I will never be made happy by chanting for spiritual enlightenment.”
Heather Juergensen - Helen Cooper
Jennifer Westfeldt - Jessica Stein

“- Alfie Byrne: I've learned a horrible lesson.
- Adele Rice: About me.
- Alfie Byrne: About myself.”
Albert Finney - Alfred Byrne
Tara Fitzgerald - Adele Rice

“- Bus Driver: That Veronica Vaughn is one piece of ace, I know from experience dude. If you know what I mean.
- Billy Madison: No, you don't.
- Bus Driver: Well, not me personally but a guy I know. Him and her got it on. Wooo-eee!
- Billy Madison: No, they didn't.”
Chris Farley - Bus Driver
Adam Sandler - Billy Madison

“I've taught you much, my little droogies.”
Malcom McDowell - Alex (A Clockwork Orange)