“When you make love, do you have to give directions? At the zoo, do the elephants throw you peanuts? Do you look at a menu and say 'ok'?”

Rodney Dangerfield - Thornton Melon

“- Jeffrey Wigand: I'm just a commodity to you, aren't I? I could be anything. Right? Anything worth putting on between commercials.
- Lowell Bergman: To a network, probably, we're all commodities. To me? You are not a commodity. What you are is important.”
Russell Crowe - Jeffrey Wigand
Al Pacino - Lowell Bergman

“Sorry, folks. Park's closed. The moose out front shoulda told ya.”
John Candy - Lasky, Guard at Walleyworld

“Metamucil. It helps you go to the toilet. If you don't use it, you get cancer and die.”
J. T. Walsh - Drucker

“- Reporter: Should we believe the hype?
- Boobie Miles: What hype?
- Reporter: The hype about Boobie Miles.
- Boobie Miles: Now hype is something that's not for real. I'm all real.”
Robert Flores - Reporter
Derek Luke - Boobie Miles