“I’m exceedingly smart. I graduated college at fourteen. While my brother was getting an STD, I was getting a Ph.D.”
Jim Parsons - Sheldon Cooper

“- Susan Johnson: A real woman could stop you from drinking.
- Arthur Bach: It'd have to be a real big woman.”
Jill Eikenberry - Susan Johnson
Dudley Moore - Arthur Bach

“- Tod Newton: When a lady says she isn't thirsty, she means all she can drink is champagne cocktails.
- Janie Barlow: You ought to write a book about what women want.”
Franchot Tone - Tod Newton
Joan Crawford - Janie Barlow

“I'm gonna get me a bottle of tequila and find me one of them Keno girls that can suck the chrome off a trailer hitch and just kinda kick back.”
Willie Nelson - Wendell

- Lucky Jordan: Don't you know that you shouldn't be drinking at your age?
- Annie ("Ma"): I'd like to be drinking at your age, but time passes.
Alan Ladd - Lucky Jordan
Mabel Paige - Annie ("Ma")