“This is pure snow! It's everywhere! Do you have any idea what the street value of this mountain is?”
Curtis Armstrong - Charles De Mar

“- Dante: Dr. Shakalu brought my some crazy Zimbabwe weed that turns you into a deer.
- Alex: You do know that lions eat deer, right?
- Dante: That’s true kid. Doctor, we gotta be careful.”
Peter Dante - Dante
Allen Covert - Alex

“- Philip Edwards: Sometimes the shepherd needs the comfort of the sheep.
- Elena Hood: I'm going to try hard not to understand the implications of that.”
Michael Cumpsty - Philip Edwards
Joan Allen - Elena Hood

- Corinne Maloney: What's this I hear about you doing laundry with my sister?
- Sonny Koufax: Did she say we were doing laundry? Because where I come from, it's called "doing the hibbidy-dibbidy".
Leslie Mann - Corinne Maloney
Adam Sandler - Sonny Koufax

“- Mox: The male erection? Pitchin' a tent, sportin' a wood, the icicle if formed, the march is on…
- Miss Davis: That's good...
- Mox: Stiff, stiffie, Mr. Mortis, rigor mortis has set in, flesh rocket, Jack's magic beanstalk, tall Tommy, mushroom on a stick, Mr. Mushroomhead, purple-headed yogurt slinger... and, uh, Pedro.”

James Van Der Beek - Mox
Tonie Perensky - Miss Davis