“- Harry: Well, I'm gonna go home, have some sex.
- Jack Traven: Harry, you're gonna go home and puke.
- Harry: Well that'll be fun too.”

Jeff Daniels - Harry
Keanu Reeves - Jack Traven

“That was more fun than eating cotton-candy barefoot.”

Virginia Madsen - Dolly Harshaw

“- Dick Kelly: We have a long standing bet: who's the better golfer. Obviously I've got the bigger three wood.
- Lenore: Good. Maybe you can use it to hit your balls right into my vagina.
- Jason Kelly: Holy shit.”
Robert De Niro - Dick Kelly
Aubrey Plaza - Lenore
Zac Efron - Jason Kelly

“I hear in Canada you only have sex doggy style; that way you can both see the hockey game.”
Rodney Dangerfield - Wally Sparks

“- Lt. Col. 'Bull' Meechum: I didn't know you looked so stacked, sports fans.
- Mary Anne Meechum: How sicko sexual can you get?”
Robert Duvall - Lt. Col. 'Bull' Meechum
Lisa Jane Persky - Mary Anne Meechum