“Hey, life's tough. Sometimes you don't get what you want. Mostly you don't get what you want.”

Tom Sizemore - Milo Peck

“If you want them to stay, they leave. If you want them to leave, they stay.”
Lauren German - Gertle

“You're marrying a woman you've never had sex with? Are you insane? Didn't you see 'The Crying Game'? You think she's got the goods under her skirt, you lift it up, it's Oscar Mayer time!”
Greg Kinnear - Perry Gordon

“Are you guys hiring? Because no one cares about love anymore so why not just have sex and get paid for it?”

Jenny McCarthy - Rebecca Sommers

“- Michelle: Mike and I had such a connection. The first time that we had sex, it was so beautiful I cried.
- Jeannie: You cried?
- Michelle: Yeah.
- Andie: You mean one glistening tear on your cheek, right?
- Michelle: No, I was really emotional. I even told him that I loved him.
- Andie: After how many days?
- Michelle: Five... two.”
Kathryn Hahn - Michelle Rueben
Annie Parisse - Jeannie
Kate Hudson - Andie