“I don't know what's more pathetic - a man that plays chess with himself, or a man that doesn't see he's already lost.”

Willem Dafoe - General George Deckert

“- Stanley Motss: I bet you're great at chess.
- Conrad Brean: I would be if I could remember how all the pieces moved.”
Dustin Hoffman - Stanley Motss
Robert De Niro - Conrad Brean

“- Bart: Well, Jim, since you are my guest and I am your host, what's your pleasure? What do you like to do?
- Jim: Oh, I don't know. Play chess... screw...
- Bart: [quickly] Well, let's play chess.”
Cleavon Little - Bart
Gene Wilder - Jim

“- Scary Spice: I'll move that fairground horse to there. Sort that out!
- Ginger Spice: You can't do that!
- Scary Spice: Says who?
- Ginger Spice: Says Mr. Chess! It's been in the rules for thousands of years!
- Scary Spice: Well I'm gonna break the rules and set this little fairground horse free amonst all these little square fields, like that.”

Melanie Brown - Scary Spice
Geri Horner - Ginger Spice

“Knight jumps queen! Bishop jumps queen! Pawns jump queen! Gangbang!”
Mel Brooks - King Louis XVI