“- Ed: I will never forget you, Dexter Reed, in my head, or in my heart. Goodbye my friend!
- Dexter Reed: Ed, I'm not going anywhere.”
Kel Mitchell - Ed
Kenan Thompson - Dexter Reed

“Always remember your promise to me. Never let nobody or nothing turn you into no cripple.”

Sharon Warren - Aretha Robinson

“Reap it, Murphy, you son of a bitch.”
Emilio Estevez - William H. 'Billy the Kid' Bonney

“Adios turd nuggets.”
Joel David Moore - J.P.

“- Muriel Heslop: I can't stay married to you, David. I have to stop lying now. I've told so many lies... I don't love you.
- David Van Arkle: I don't love you either, but I think I could like having you around.”
Toni Collette - Muriel Heslop
Daniel Lapaine - David Van Arkle