“- Shakes the Clown: Kid, what are you doing? - Obnoxious Kid at Party: I had to go to the bathroom. - Shakes the Clown: On my head? - Obnoxious Kid at Party: This is my bathroom, not your bedroom, you big drunken mess.”
Bobcat Goldthwait - Shakes the Clown
- Lucky Jordan: Don't you know that you shouldn't be drinking at your age? - Annie ("Ma"): I'd like to be drinking at your age, but time passes.
Alan Ladd - Lucky Jordan
Mabel Paige - Annie ("Ma")
“- Dr. Einstein: I cannot operate without a drink! - Jonathan Brewster: Pull yourself together, doctor! - Dr. Einstein: I cannot pull myself together without a drink!”
Peter Lorre - Dr. Einstein
Raymond Massey - Jonathan Brewster
“Drinking don't bother my memory. If it did, I wouldn't drink. I couldn't. You see, I'd forget how good it was, then where'd I be? Start drinking water, again.”
Walter Brennan - Eddie
- Polly Bailey: Well, maybe we should change our slogan to "If you must drink and drive, suck charcoal". - Nick Naylor: Won't the police ask about the charcoal in your mouth? - Bobby Jay Bliss: There's not a law against charcoal. - Polly Bailey, Nick Naylor: Yet.
Maria Bello - Polly Bailey
Aaron Eckhart - Nick Naylor
David Koechner - Bobby Jay Bliss
