“- Rusty Griswold: Dad wasn't speeding. The cop stopped us because Dad forgot to...
- Ellen Griswold: He was speeding, Rusty!
- Rusty Griswold: No he wasn't, Mom. He...
- Clark Griswold: Rusty! Listen to your mother. I was speeding. I was driving like a maniac. We can all be grateful for this man for stopping us.”
Anthony Michael Hall - Rusty Griswold
Beverly D'Angelo - Ellen Griswold
Chevy Chase - Clark Griswold

“- Corky Romano: I never thought I'd live to see the day that an FBI agent would be peddling smack.
- Agent Brick Davis: Don't act so surprised. J. Edgar Hoover used to wear a dress.
- Corky Romano: Just tell me why, Brick.
- Agent Brick Davis: I don't know. I suppose it made him feel sexy.
- Corky Romano: Not Hoover. You!”
Chris Kattan - Corky Romano
Matthew Glave - Agent Brick Davis

“In Bay City, when you cross the line, your nuts are mine.”
Ben Stiller - David Starsky

“- Peoples Hernandez: You're not a cop anymore.
- John Shaft: Do you think that makes me less dangerous, or more dangerous?”
Jeffrey Wright - Peoples Hernandez
Samuel L. Jackson - John Shaft

“I've gone through so many blueprints I can taste the ink through my fingers.”
Brad Pitt - Rust Ryan