“You ever notice how people die in alphabetical order?”

Joel Murray - George Calamari

- Ed (editor): McCoy! Billy, kill that story about the Republican Convention in Chicago and take this down: "The Ringo Kid was killed on Main Street in Lordsburg tonight. And among the additional dead were...". Leave that blank for a spell.
- McCoy (typesetter): I didn't hear any shooting, Ed.
- Ed (editor): You will, Billy, you will.
Robert Homans - Ed (editor)

“Some folks call it a sling blade, I call it a kaiser blade.”
Billy Bob Thornton - Karl Childers

"Paramount Pictures presents “The Freak”. This movie won't just scare you, it will fuck you up for life”. I want to know how the fuck the word "fuck" gets in the New York fucking Times!

J. T. Walsh - Drucker

“I need a reporter. And you'll do local car wrecks. Take the picture, write the story. We run a front-page photo of a car wreck every week whether or not we actually have a car wreck. Now, there's a knack for taking photos that make you feel something. If there's a dark patch on the ground it reads blood whether it's motor oil or Diet Coke.”
Scott Glenn - Jack Buggit