“You're getting so good, you even got your shadow scared.”

Huntz Hall - Limpy

“I was never great. I was pretty good. I was great for around here. Every year I got better. The people remember me in my prime. The kids always ask me about the 6 touchdown passes against Porterville.”

Kurt Russell - Reno Hightower

“There's nothing wrong with your marriage. You just have to resell it once in awhile.”

Harry Davenport - Jones

“- Mother of 9-Year-Old Girl: I have a girl of nine who won't listen to what's right. She always does what's wrong. What should I do?
- Larry Haines: Wait ten years, and if there's no improvement... send me her number.”

Nell Craig - Mother of 9-Year-Old Girl
Bob Hope - Larry Haines

“- The Wiseman: Quite often, young lady, it seems like we're not getting anywhere, when in fact...
- The Hat: We are!”

Frank Oz - The Wiseman
David Shaughnessy - The Hat