“When people get hooked on the new age life they end up sitting at home burning candles for Mister Right, when Mister Good-Enough-For-Right-Now is waiting at the corner bar!”
Molly Shannon - Eve

“You're 40-years-old, you're four times as old as this girl, and you can't marry her, so you wait five years. By that time the little girl's 15 and you're 45. You're only three times as old as that little girl. So you wait 15 years and when the girl is 30, you're at 60. You're only twice as old as that little girl.”

Bud Abbott - Slicker Smith

“- Herbie Brown: She'll have to wait for me!
- Slicker Smith: Why should she wait for you?
- Herbie Brown: I was nice enough to wait for her!”

Lou Costello - Herbie Brown
Bud Abbott - Slicker Smith

“- American Immigration Official: The Romanian quota is very small, very crowded.
- Georges Iscovescu: That means I have to wait?
- American Immigration Official: Between five and eight years, Mr. Iscovescu.”
Harry Shannon - American Immigration Official
Charles Boyer - Georges Iscovescu

“I hope they don't hang you, precious, by that sweet neck. Yes, angel, I'm gonna send you over. The chances are you'll get off with life. That means if you're a good girl, you'll be out in 20 years. I'll be waiting for you. If they hang you, I'll always remember you.”

Humphrey Bogart - Samuel Spade