“- Annabel: Of course he'll be gorgeous.
- Kelly: Will he be gay?
- Abbie Reynolds: My God, will your kids be stupid?”

Suzanne Krull - Annabel
Linda Larkin - Kelly
Madonna - Abbie Reynolds

“- Zac Hobson: Do you know you're beautiful?
- Joanne: Hey, are you calling me stupid?”
Bruno Lawrence - Zac Hobson
Alison Routledge - Joanne

“- Natalie Arden: What kind of dumb bitch lets Leonardo DiCaprio drown?
- Anne Arden: Nat, mind your own business.”

Marley Shelton - Natalie Arden
Renee Zellweger - Anne Arden

“- Charlie Osgood: Chastity, how could you have anything important to say? You're a girl.
- Chastity: Oh, that's right, sometimes I forget.”
Matt Kawczynski - Charlie Osgood
Lorene Scafaria - Chastity

“- Rose Muldoon: I had a Pollock friend once. She was incredibly stupid...
- Danny Muldoon: Don't do this, Ma.
- Rose Muldoon: ... Julie Kapowski. She was the stupidest woman that I ever knew. She believed that black cows... black cows squirted chocolate milk!”
Maureen O'Hara - Rose Muldoon
John Candy - Danny Muldoon