“- Rex: Thematically speaking, we will be looking at Christmas carols as they relate to specific traditions...
- Herb: Yeah! Songs about Christmas trees, and stacks of gifts, reindeer, and jingling bells, holiday ballet, Santa Claus, universal joy, and Christmas snacks!
- Rex: There is not a carol about snacks.”
Johnny Counterfit - Rex
Tim Conner - Herb

“Proctor! You have been singing Christmas songs for the entire five hours of this stakeout. And Christmas is a good four months away. If you sing so much as one more note... I will shoot you.”
G.W. Bailey - Captain Harris

“I had the strangest dream. I dreamt that some psychopath was trying to break the two of you up. Luckily, I woke up and I see that the world is just as it should be. For my best friend has won the best woman. I didn't buy you a gift. But this is on loan until you two find your song.”

Julia Roberts - Julianne Potter

“- Roger: [singing] Ti tum ti ta ti, ta tum ti ta tum.
- Roger: Do you like my new song?
- Anita: Ta tum ti ta tum. Such clever lyrics.
- Roger: Melody first, my dear, and then the lyrics.”
Ben Wright - Roger
Lisa Davis - Anita

“We need a songteenagers can bang their heads to in a car. Bohemian Rhapsody is not that song.”
Mike Myers - Ray Foster