“Open your mouth, watch your ears, mind your toes!”
Sean Pertwee - Sgt. Harry G. Wells

“- Helen: Remember, he said you have nice moves. That means he was looking at your body, which means he thinks you're doable. So basically, he asked you to sleep with him.
- Mary Katherine Gallagher: Oh my goodness, this relationship is moving too fast.”
Emmy Laybourne - Helen
Molly Shannon - Mary Katherine Gallagher

“I go over it in my head, and now I know what it was he was seeing. It's really simple. He's seeing my legs. He 's seeing my breasts. My ass. My mouth. He's seeing my cunt... How can I have been so stupid? That's really all there is to see, isn't it?”
Adrienne Shelly - Maria Coughlin

“- Juliet Miller: We're going to dance?
- Alex Law: Well, it's physical contact, isn't it?”
Kerry Fox - Juliet Miller
Ewan McGregor - Alex Law

“- Eddie Black: I was engaged to a girl once with a wooden leg.
- Skip: Yeah? What happened?
- Eddie Black: Had to break it off.”
Jessie Lawrence Ferguson - Eddie Black
Dan Hicks - Skip