“- Dale Denton: Why don't you go fuck yourself, you weird little prick?
- Mr. Edwards: I'm a teacher, okay? You can't talk to me like that, guy.
- Dale Denton: I'm not a student, so I can say whatever the fuck I want, you chimp-fucking little bastard.”
Seth Rogen - Dale Denton
Joe Lo Truglio - Mr. Edwards

“- B-rad: Shut up, ho.
- Shondra: Who you callin' ho, ho?
- B-rad: Yo, ho, the same ho that gave up that weak-ass kiss five minutesago in the bedroom.”
Jamie Kennedy - Brad 'B-Rad' Gluckman
Regina Hall - Shondra

“I don't wanna badmouth the kid, but he's a horrible, dishonest, immoral louse. And I say that with all due respect.”
Woody Allen - Danny Rose

“- Pappas: Let me tell you something, Harp. I was in this bureau while you were still popping zits on your funny face and jacking off to the lingerie section of the Sears catalog. But there's something I've learned in all my years...
- Ben Harp: Why don't you astonish me, shitbrains.
- Pappas: Respect for my elders!”

Gary Busey - Pappas
John C. McGinley - Ben Harp

“- Jackson 'Jack' Durant: Tony, you're, you're, you're a dirty-minded little rat.
- Tony Gazotti: There you go again! Boy, I like you!”
Warner Baxter - Jackson 'Jack' Durant
Nat Pendleton - Tony Gazotti