“- Tommy: La-la-la-loo-loo... Luuuke... Luuuke! I am your fah-ther! La-la-lay-lu...
- Richard: [walks in] Oh, I've interrupted happy time! Now I know you want to sit there and keep being not slim, but we gotta work a little today.
- Tommy: That was from 'Star Wars'.
- Richard: I know.”

Chris Farley - Tommy
David Spade - Richard

"The Godfather" is the I Ching. "The Godfather" is the sum of all wisdom. "The Godfather" is the answer to any question. What should I pack for my summer vacation? "Leave the gun, take the cannoli". What day of the week is it? "Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, Wednesday."
Tom Hanks - Joe Fox

- Heather: It's just like Hamlet said, "to thine own self be true".
- Cher: Hamlet didn't say that.
- Heather: I think I remember Hamlet accurately.
- Cher: Well, I remember Mel Gibson accurately, and he didn't say that. That Polonius guy did.
Susan Mohun - Heather
Alicia Silverstone - Cher

- Janey Briggs: I knew it. That's a line from "She's All That". I masturbate to that movie.
- Jake Wyler: [to nosy Flight Attendant right behind them] Do you mind?
- Flight Attendant: Not at all, I think masturbation is very healthy.
Chyler Leigh - Janey Briggs
Chris Evans - Jake Wyler
Molly Ringwald - Flight Attendant

“- Doug McKenzie: I am your father, Luke. Give in to the dark side of the force, you knob.
- Bob McKenzie: He saw Jedi 17 times, eh.”
Dave Thomas - Doug McKenzie
Rick Moranis - Bob McKenzie