“- Bernie Walton: She looks very well like Mona Marshall, but can she act like her?
- Virginia: Oh, my thyroids!”

Allyn Joslyn - Bernie Walton
Rosemary Lane - Virginia

“- Jack Noah: Why couldn't you get Bobby DeNiro or Dustin Hoffman?
- Roberto Strausmann: Not available! I would have given my right arm to work with Bobby DeNiro and Dustin Hoffman!”

Richard Stephen Dreyfuss - Jack Noah
Raul Julia - Roberto Strausmann

“You're probably a blessing in disguise. Fucking good disguise.”
Lisa Kudrow - Lucia DeLury

“- Hauser: Howdy, stranger! This is Hauser. If things have gone wrong, I'm talking to myself and you don't have a wet towel around your head. Now, whatever your name is, get ready for the big surprise. You are not you, you're me.
- Douglas Quaid: No shit.”
Arnold Schwarzenegger - Hauser
Arnold Schwarzenegger - Douglas Quaid

“- Llug: Want to breed?
- Madmartigan: Tempting, but no.”

Ron Tarr - Llug
Val Kilmer - Madmartigan