“- Sgt Howell: Have you ever roped a goat, Hollywood?
- Hollywood Zane: No, Sarge.
- Sgt Howell: Have you ever looked into a goat's eyes?
- Hollywood Zane: No, Sarge.
- Sgt Howell: Good. That would be unnatural.”
Vince Vaughn - Sgt Howell
Luke Pegler - Hollywood Zane

“It was a pet, not an animal. It had a name, you don't eat things with names, this is horrific!”

Peter Riegert - Mac

“- Detective Marcus Burnett: Oh, shit. These ain't normal rats.
- Detective Mike Lowrey: What my partner means is that these are a special breed called, uhm.
- Detective Marcus Burnett: Big motherfuckers.”

Martin Lawrence - Detective Marcus Burnett
Will Smith - Detective Mike Lowrey

- Lloyd Christmas: My friend Harry and I are saving up to open our own pet store.
- Mary Swanson: That's nice.
- Lloyd Christmas: I got worms!
- Mary Swanson: I beg your pardon?
- Lloyd Christmas: That's what we're gonna call it. "I Got Worms"! We're gonna specialize in selling worm farms. You know, like ant farms.
Jim Carrey - Lloyd Christmas
Lauren Holly - Mary Swanson

“You know, I know another little boy who has a horse. His name's Edward. The boy, not the horse.”
Jennifer Lopez - Catharine Deane