“- Arthur Bach: Yesterday I sold some blood at a hospital.
- Hobson: Hospital? I should've thought a local distillery would have paid you much more.”
Dudley Moore - Arthur Bach
Sir John Gielgud - Hobson

“- Stiggs: What do you, like, do?
- Pat Coletti: Basically, I drink. And I make a lot of money.
- Stiggs: I mean, what kind of work do you do, that you can do, really wasted?
- Pat Coletti: Hog couture, boys.
- Stiggs: Hog couture? How's that?
- Pat Coletti: I manufacture clothes for fat women.”
Neill Barry - Stiggs
Martin Mull - Pat Coletti

“- Philippe: I am confused. You know what I'd like to do?
- Cecile: What?
- Philippe: I'd like to go someplace alone with you and get very drunky-poo.
- Cecile: Phillipe, you'll be a credit to your mother yet.”
Geoffrey Horne - Philippe
Jean Seberg - Cecile

“Start 'em off with a single, then a double, then a triple, then back to a double, and back to a single. You want 'em drunk enough to get their credit card then sober enough to sign the check.”
Jennifer Lopez - Ramona

“As I understand from your communication, Mr. Engle, you're on the brink of self-destruction. May I shake your hand? A brilliant idea! I speak as one who has destroyed himself a score of times.”

Thomas Mitchell - Gene Gibbons