“- Maxwell Smart: Just our luck, we gotta run into a poisonous Achtung.
- Agent 34: That means attention. There has been an avalanche.”

Don Adams - Maxwell Smart
Sylvia Kristel - Agent 34

“- Tommy: What do you call this in Jewish?
- Avram: A tuchas.
- Tommy: Well, you keep your eyes on this took-iss, and don't take them off 'till I tell you!”

Harrison Ford - Tommy
Gene Wilder - Avram

“- Clown: Be careful. Don't hurt the little guy.
- Skinny: C'mon, elephants ain't got no feelings.”
Billy Bletcher - Clown
Malcolm Hutton - Skinny

“From now on, keep one eye on that candle, another eye on that one, and with the other eye watch me!”

Lou Costello - Ferdinand Jones

“- Mrs. Marjorie Davies: How did you rest?
- Freddie: With one eye open.”
Ann Harding - Mrs. Marjorie Davies
George Tobias - Freddie