“Dude, it's not big deal if you like to fuck guys. I'm cool, I got friends who fuck guys… in jail.”
Romany Malco - Jay

“- Cindy Campbell: We have to call the police!
- Ray Wilkins: No way! I ain't going to jail!
- Greg Phillippe: He's right! Cindy, do you know what they do to young boys in prison? All of those sex-starved convicts just waiting for a fresh piece of meat?
- Ray Wilkins: Hey, Cindy's right. Maybe we should call the police.”

Anna Faris - Cindy Campbell
Shawn Wayans - Ray Wilkins
Lochlyn Munro - Greg Phillippe

“- Kumar Patel: Are all the guards in Guantanamo Bay gay?
- Big Bob: Fuck no! There ain't nothing gay about getting your dick sucked! You're the ones that're gay for sucking my dick!”
Kal Penn - Kumar Patel
Randal Reeder - Big Bob

“- Jack: There's only two times when that kind of thing's okay: in prison where it's a substitute and guys in space.
- Mike: Guys in space?
- Jack: Well, not on purpose. They just float into each other.”

Shawn Hatosy - Jack
Zak Orth - Mike

“- Javier: Are you going to visit her in Jail, Marco?
- JJ: Maybe you can get laid again.
- Lance: Make sure you get a woman's jail.
- Bobby: Why? He could get laid in a men's jail too, right?”

Daniel Villarreal - Javier
BT - JJ
Jake Johannsen - Lance
Louis Mandylor - Bobby Deluca