“- Anya: For God's sakes Andrew, you've been in here for 30 minutes. What are you doing?
- Andrew Wells: Entertaining and educating.
- Anya: Why can't you just masturbate like the rest of us?”
Emma Caulfield Ford - Anya
Tom Lenk - Andrew Wells

“Entertaining the rustics is not as difficult as I feared. Any simple, childish game seems to amuse them excessively.”

Frieda Inescort - Miss Bingley

“We will now present for your entertainment the most stupendous, magnificent, super-colossal spectacle! On this tiny, little, insignificant ball, we will construct for you a pyramid! Not of wood, not of stone... pyramid, of ponderous, pulsating, pulchritudinous pachyderms!”
Herman Bing - The Ringmaster

“What if God just put us here for His own entertainment? That's all we are - just something for Him to have a bit of a laugh at?”
David Thewlis - Johnny

“- Sally Matthews: Where do the gods live?
- Selord: They live in every living thing.
- Sally Matthews: Why did they make people?
- Selord: They were bored. They needed people around to entertain them.”
Asha Menina - Sally Matthews
Joaquín Martínez - Selord