“- Sara McDowel: What did you have in mind?
- Harris K. Telemacher: Well, I was thinking of taking you on a cultural tour of L.A.
- Sara McDowel: That's the first fifteen minutes, then what?”
Victoria Tennant - Sara McDowel
Steve Martin - Harris K. Telemacher

“- Tucker: Which building's yours?
- Healy: Are you familiar with the soccer stadium?
- Tucker: Did you build the Estadio Olimpico?
- Healy: No, just down the street the Celinto Catayente Towers.”

Lee Evans - Tucker
Matt Dillon - Healy

“- Dr. Margo Hunt: The secret temple of the Piranha women. Their architecture is surprisingly advanced.
- Jim: It looks like a big lego to me.”
Shannon Tweed - Dr. Margo Hunt
Bill Maher - Jim

“I'm an architect for Christ sake, I build 50 story skyscrapers, I assemble cities of the future, I can certainly put together a goddamn diaper.”
Tom Selleck - Peter Mitchell

“You don't think the guy who makes the toilets for the Space Shuttle gets to see the plans for the rest of it?”
Neil Crone - Jerry Whitehall