“- Quentin Hapsburg: Que sera sera... You do speak French, don't you?
- Lt. Frank Drebin: Unfortunately no, but I do kiss that way.”
Robert Goulet - Quentin Hapsburg
Leslie William Nielsen - Frank Drebin

“- Mrs. Caypor: Do you understand German, Mr. Marvin?
- Robert Marvin: No, but I speak it fluently.”
Florence Kahn - Mrs. Caypor
Robert Young - Robert Marvin

“- Dubbie the Blonde: Do you speak french?
- Van Kurtzman: No. Do you?
- Dubbie the Blonde: Yes. Not as well as my father's boyfriend. But then again, he is French.”
Carolyn Murphy - Dubbie the Blonde
Adrien Brody - Van Kurtzman

“- French Count: I hope they hang you in Tyburn for your bad French.
- Macleane: Merci Monsieur. I hope it rains every day of your fucking visit.”
Jacques Mathou - French Count
Jonny Lee Miller - Macleane

“- Sly:I think that if you're going to talk so much out of your ass, maybe you should wear a bow-tie on your butt!
- Basil: A bow-tie on her butt? That's disgusting, Sylvester!
- Teddie: Your syntax is interesting.
- Basil: It's because he watches television all the time. Nice language, Sylvester.”
Leo Fitzgerald - Sly
Connor Leggett - Basil
Amanda Fein - Teddie