“Do you know how many times a week I go without lunch because some bitch borrows my lunch money? Y'know, any halfway decent girl can rob me blind, because I'm too torqued up to say no.”
Anthony Michael Hall - Farmer Ted

“We don't let them lil' girl scouts sell them cookies unless we get a cut of that shit you bitch ass nigga!”
Dartanyan Edmonds - LaDomal

“Hank, you know, I've never, I've never even kissed a girl before. And you know what? If being rich will change that, I'm all for it. I don't care. I just wanna feel it, you know? I just wanna know what people do, you know? I don't care if it's 'cause of the money.”
Billy Bob Thornton - Jacob

“- Hank: What about, uh... What was her name? Carrie Richards? She liked you even though you were a broke dick.
- Jacob: Oh, her. Yeah. That was a whole different deal. That was... her friends, they pitched in 100 bucks altogether and bet her that she wouldn't go steady with me for a month.”
Bill Paxton - Hank
Billy Bob Thornton - Jacob

“You don't dry clean a rented tuxedo. You don't redecorate a hotel room. You don't order cable for a port-a-potty...unless you're really, really drunk. And you don't take on the bills of a girl that's got the attention span of a monkey chewing on a fly swatter.”
Charlie Sheen - Charlie Harper