“- Samantha Taylor: That looks bad, have you taken anything for it?
- George Webber: Yes, I took four of your birth control pills, I hope that's okay.
- Samantha Taylor: Try an antihistimine.
- George Webber: I don't like those, they make me pregnant.”

Julie Andrews - Samantha Taylor
Dudley Moore - George Webber

“- Molly Jensen: Carl, are you all right?
- Carl Bruner: It's just my stomach! Do you have anything like Pepto Bismol or something like that?
- Sam Wheat: Cyanide!”
Demi Moore - Molly Jensen
Tony Goldwyn - Carl Bruner
Patrick Swayze - Sam Wheat

“- Young Dr. Chung: I have one sorrow, Lieutenant. That we did not have the medicine to ease your pain.
- Ted Lawson: You saved my life, Doc.”
Benson Fong - Young Dr. Chung
Van Johnson - Ted Lawson

“- George Peters: Doris, what the hell is the matter?
- Doris: If memory serves me correctly, I just had a labor pain.
- George Peters: You can't have. It must be indigestion.
- Doris: No, there's a difference. Indigestion doesn't make you eyes bug out.”
Alan Alda - George Peters
Ellen Burstyn - Doris

“It feels like I'm shitting a knife!”

Amy Poehler - Angie