“- Carol: I want you to look into my eyes. What do you see?
- Picardo: It's dark... and it's cold.
- Carol: It's your future. Keep this up, and you will spend the rest of your life stabbing trash by the highway.”

Elizabeth Mitchell - Carol
Andrew Stone - Picardo

“- Farmer Ted: I know I came on kinda like a poozer on the bus tonight and everything. But... that's just so my friends won't think, you know, I'm a jerk.
- Samantha: But they're all pretty much jerks, though, aren't they?
- Farmer Ted: Yeah, but the thing is, I'm kinda like the leader, you know? Kinda like the king of the dipshits.”
Anthony Michael Hall - Farmer Ted
Molly Ringwald - Samantha

“Last time I smoked that stuff, they found me on top of the Sears Tower trying to build a nest.”

Robin Williams - Jack Moniker

“That's what keeps a relationship going through the years. Like heroin, I mean heroin's got a great fucking personality.”
Jonny Lee Miller - Sick Boy

“- Fein: Back in the 60's, some hippies came here and turned the place into a commune. You know, sex, and drugs, and debauchery.
- Dennis Van Welker: Knew I'd been here before.
- Gaby: Eww! You did that stuff here?
- Dennis Van Welker: No. Not here.”
Burgess Meredith - Fein
Chris Lloyd - Dennis Van Welker
Melody Kay - Gaby Nowicki