“- Carter: Who are you?
- Master Yu: Yu.
- Carter: No, not me. You.”
Chris Tucker - Carter
Henry O - Master Yu

“- Suzanne Vale: Mom, this is my roommate, Aretha.
- Doris Mann: Aretha, what an unusual name.
- Aretha: Yes, I think my parents were expecting someone black.”
Meryl Streep - Suzanne Vale
Shirley MacLaine - Doris Mann
Robin Bartlett - Aretha

“You know that I actually met a girl by the name of Moo Goo Gai Pan? That was her last name. Her first name was Freida. Freida Moo Goo Gai Pan. She was half-Jewish, half-Chinese. A lot of people called her the Ori-Yenta.”
Walter Matthau - Lou Mozell

“- Maria Elena Santiago: I'm Puerto Rican. And you're, you're not.
- Charles Hardin 'Buddy' Holly: So I'll change my name to Chihuahua.”
Maria Richwine - Maria Elena Santiago
Gary Busey - Charles Hardin 'Buddy' Holly

“After all, what is the United States? A charming cocktail of Irish and Jews. Very spectacular; but very childish. And England? A few old ladies wearing their grandfathers' leather britches.”
Walter Slezak - Major Erich von Keller