“I could have had any girl l wanted in school. Any girl l wanted. You know why l didn't have a girlfriend? Huh? Because there was nobody that l liked. Nobody that l liked. That's the truth.”
Vincent Gallo - Billy Brown

“- John Moss: She hates me.
- Nick Lang: Buy her a pony.
- John Moss: I mean Susan.
- Nick Lang: Buy her a horse.”
James Woods - John Moss
Michael J. Fox - Nick Lang

“- Bianca: Hi Jessica, you look great. Are you doing anything different or just hanging out with skankier friends?
- Jessica Spencer: You look good, too, Bianca. Are you eating less or just barfing more?
- Monique: Barfing more.”
Maria-Elena Laas - Bianca
Rob Schneider - Jessica
Ashlee Simpson - Monique

“- Brian: You're offering me a job?
- Doug: Uh huh.
- Brian: The waitresses hate me!
- Doug: You wait till you've given them crabs. Then you'll really know hatred.”
Tom Cruise - Brian Flanagan
Bryan Brown - Doug Coughlin

“- Professor Von Rotten: If there's one thing I hate, it's sentimental women.
- Cleopatra: Personally, I don't care very much for you either.
- Professor Von Rotten: I hate unsentimental women too, and small children and dogs and flowers and sometimes I even hate myself!”
Larry D. Mann - Professor Von Rotten