“- Howard D. Doyle: I love you. I trust you.
- Miles Massey: It's the pre-nup. Brilliant.”
Billy Bob Thornton - Howard D. Doyle
George Clooney - Miles

“- Angela Stone: I think it's wonderful that Martha and Bill have a marriage contract that spells out everything. I wish we had a contract.
- Sam Stone: You mean like who takes out the garbage? That kind of everything?
- Bill: Every kind of everything. How often, who starts it, everything.”
Nita Talbot - Angela
Bill Macy - Sam
Sam Chew Jr. - Bill

“- Max Burdett: The first diamond I've ever bought. I love you, Lola Cirillo. Marry me.
- Lola Cirillo: On one condition.
- Max Burdett: Anything.
- Lola Cirillo: I want the receipt.”
Pierce Brosnan - Max Burdett
Salma Hayek - Lola Cirillo

“- Plankton: Karen, baby, I haven't felt this giddy since the day you agreed to be my wife!
- Karen: I never agreed.”
Mr. Lawrence - Plankton
Jill Talley - Karen

“Dear Governor Axtell. I've heard that you will give 200 dollars for my head. Perhaps we should meet and talk. I am at the Juarez village at the border. Send three men, and instruct them not to shoot, as I am unarmed. In short, Sir; I surrender. Your obedient servant William H. Bonney. PS: I changed my mind. Kiss my ass!”
Emilio Estevez - William H. 'Billy the Kid' Bonney