“This is your mother's fault. It's like voodoo. She knows where I am every second.”

Billy Crystal - Dr. Ben Sobel

“When you are of age, you are free to fuck up your own life. But until that time I'm afraid it's my job!”

Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio - Donna De Angelo

“- Juno MacGuff: I'm not ready to be a mom.
- Mac MacGuff: Damn skippy you're not! You don't even remember to give Liberty Bell her breathing meds.
- Juno MacGuff: God, that was one time! And she did not die, if you recall.”
Ellen Page - Juno MacGuff
J. K. Simmons - Mac MacGuff

- Calvin "Cal" Jarrett: He just wants to know that you don't hate him.
- Beth Jarrett: Hate him! How could I hate him? Mothers don't hate their sons!

Donald Sutherland - Calvin
Mary Tyler Moore - Beth

“I want kids that love me as much as I hated my mother.”
Elizabeth Ashley - Diane Freed