“Never, in my wildest imagination, I ever thought it could be like that. That was the most exciting sexual encounter - without actually having it - that I ever, almost had.”

Steve Martin - Dr. Michael Hfuhruhurr

“Jonathan, until you get laid none of us are safe!”
Rob Lowe - Skip

“- Minister: I never felt like this before. I'm... I'm...
- Joy: Horny? That which reminds me, there's something I've always wanted to ask someone like you. Do you get much?
- Minister: Not too often. Just an occasional glass at dinner.
- Harry Monroe: That's not what she meant.”
Rod McCary - Minister
Claudia Cron - Joy
Richard Pryor - Harry Monroe

“We didn't have MTV when I was growing up. So maybe it's the overstimulated times that we live in that causes young men to stick their... instruments in such... odd places. I knew a certain young men once who actually engaged in sexual congress with an apple pie, and he turned out just fine.”
Eugene Levy - Mr. Levenstein

“Billy, you know, you don't have to be embarrassed if your dick gets hard. Your dick is supposed to get hard. See? That's the whole object of this. Taggart's dick is hard, but he won't let you know 'cause he's the boss. Boss' dick got to stay limp, right? See, I ain't on duty so my dick can be hard.”

Eddie Murphy - Axel Foley