“- Ryan Edward Turner: I'd kill myself right now, but I'd probably end up in Hell, and that would be redundant.
- Barry Sherman: Well, at least you'd be among friends.”
Charlie Sheen - Ryan Edward Turner
Jon Lovitz - Barry Sherman

“- New Mother: Is it a boy or a girl?
- Obstretrician: Now I think it's a bit early to startimposing roles on it, don't you?”
Graham Arthur Chapman - Obstretrician

“- Rosie Morales: I'm pregnant… Well aren't you gonna say anything?
- Bob Morales: What's there to say? It's not my first. Or my last.”
Elizabeth Peña - Rosie Morales
Esai Morales - Bob Morales

“Did you say you are pregnant or you were pregnant? You had it, threw it out, and now you're gonna go dance all night?”

Melissa George - Cleo Miller

“- Kansas Hill: My best friend got pregnant.
- Mrs. Hill: Woohoo, before you?
- Kansas Hill: Yeah that's what i said too.”
Mena Suvari - Kansas Hill
Sean Young - Mrs. Hill