“No offense. I mean look at you. Who wouldn't want to have sex with you. I mean I'd do you.”

Jennifer Westfeldt - Jessica Stein

“- Amanda Brooks: Jeez, did you check out that ass? Boy, how'd you like to give her a punch in the pants, huh, Walt?
- Walter Stone: Oh, no, you're not gay are you?
- Amanda Brooks: Pal, if I'm gay, Clint Eastwood is a transvestite.”
Ellen Barkin - Amanda Brooks
Jimmy Smits - Walter Stone

“- Annabel: Of course he'll be gorgeous.
- Kelly: Will he be gay?
- Abbie Reynolds: My God, will your kids be stupid?”

Suzanne Krull - Annabel
Linda Larkin - Kelly
Madonna - Abbie Reynolds

“Girl, you're way to hot to be givin' it away. You're so hot you make me wish I was a lesbian.”

Michael Imperioli - Midnite

“- Judith: Have you ever fantasized about having sex with any man, any man at all?
- J.D.: Does that include celebrities?”
Amanda Peet - Judith
Jack Black - J.D.