“- Augustus 'Gus' McCrae: Oh, I had a job waitin' tables once. S' on a riverboat. I wasn't no older than Newt, there, but I hadda give it up.
- Newt Dobbs: How come?
- Augustus 'Gus' McCrae: Well I was, too young and pretty and the whores wouldn't let me alone.”
Robert Duvall - Augustus 'Gus' McCrae
Ricky Schroder - Newt Dobbs

“- Edward Fletcher-Wooten: How do you know so much about so much?
- Nick Mercer: I’m a hooker.”
Jack Davenport - Edward Fletcher-Wooten
Dermot Mulroney - Nick Mercer

“- Leah Russell: Don't suppose you've got any jobs in your new pub?
- Sandra Gangel: No. But if I ever do turn it into a brothel I'll get back to you, ok?”
Tameka Empson - Leah Russell
Linda Henry - Sandra Gangel

“- Antoine Laconte: Women pay me to... give them pleasure.
- Deuce Bigalow: How did you get that job?
- Antoine Laconte: I just sort of fell into it.
- Deuce Bigalow: I'm gonna kill my guidance counselor!”
Oded Fehr - Antoine Laconte
Rob Schneider - Deuce Bigalow

“- Annie: A guy who rents a house this big must be making up for something pretty small, I'd say.
- Max: No no, I've seen his dick, it's pretty great.
- Annie: Well, I tried.”
Rachel McAdams - Annie
Jason Bateman - Max