“When the zombie outbreak first hit, the first to go, for obvious reasons... were the fatties.”
Jesse Eisenberg - Columbus

“We are all corpses here! This rendezvous is one of the musical graveyards of the town. Caters to zombies hopping around with dead hearts and price tags for souls.”

Thomas Mitchell - Gene Gibbons

“- Geoff Montgomery: It's worse than horrible because a zombie has no will of his own. You see them sometimes walking around blindly with dead eyes, following orders, not knowing what they do, not caring.
- Larry Lawrence: You mean like Democrats?”
Richard Carlson - Geoff Montgomery
Bob Hope - Larry Lawrence

“Daddy, that dead man tried to eat me.”
Christian Burrows - Little Chuck

“- Eddie: You just tried to take a bite out of my arm!
- Johnny: I'm sorry, Eddie. It was just gonna be a little bite.”
Danny Zorn - Eddie
Andrew Lowery - Johnny