“- Janet Beindorf: What are you doing?
- Ned Beindorf: Turning off the electricity, don't you understand? They can't survive without electricity: no Nintendo, no Mtv.”

Jamie Lee Curtis - Janet Beindorf
Kevin Pollak - Ned Beindorf

- Merrill Hess: For the kids' protection. They were watching the TV from 5am on. I didn't want them getting obsessed, like you said. They should be outside, playing "Furry Furry Rabbit" or tea party or something.
- Rev. Graham Hess: What's "Furry Furry rabbit"?
- Merrill Hess: It's a game, isn't it?
Joaquin Phoenix - Merrill Hess
Mel Gibson - Rev. Graham Hess

“All these kids, they're all tv babies. Watching people killing and fucking each other on the boob tube for so long it's all they know. Hell, they think it's legal. They think it's the right thing to do.”
Matt Dillon - Bob

“Now remember sweet face, zillions of people all over the world are gonna be watching you; and that means no farting, no picking your nose and no playing with little Mr. Peabody.”

Ellen McElduff - Make-Up Woman

Millions of kids see this cartoon, it's like sending each one of them a pack of cigarettes and saying "light up".

Robin Williams - Daniel Hillard