“- Clooney: Are you from L.A.?
- Trabucco: Not necessarily.”
Jack Lemmon - Victor Clooney
Walter Matthau - Trabucco

“- Loomis: Now, we're going to find a familiar street soon.
- Phyllis: I'd settle for a familiar borough.”
Randy Quaid - Loomis
Geena Davis - Phyllis

“- Jill Young: So, this is L.A., huh? Everything looks the same. How do you know where you are?
- Gregg O'Hara: It's easy. The ocean's that way, the mountains are that way, Mexico's that way, and Canada's that way. You don't have to worry about the rest; you'll never see it through the smog.”
Charlize Theron - Jill Young
Bill Paxton - Gregg O'Hara

“- Harvey Pekar: You don't have any problems with moving to Cleveland?
- Joyce Brabner: Not really. I find most American cities to be depressing in the same way.”
Paul Giamatti - Harvey Pekar
Hope Davis - Joyce Brabner

“I can't believe I'm sitting here in Buffalo. The only town where you can have a good time without enjoying yourself.”
Wendie Malick - Inez