“Men don't get smarter as they get older. They just lose their hair.”
Claudette Colbert - Gerry Jeffers

“- Tripp: Am I getting advice from my two loser buddies who still live at home?
- Ace: Actually, I own my home.
- Demo: What?
- Tripp: No, you don't.
- Ace: I bought it a couple of years ago from my mom. That way, she has a place to live and I don't get nailed on the inheritance tax.”
Matthew McConaughey - Tripp
Justin Bartha - Ace
Bradley Cooper - Demo

“- Harrison: You have a long way to go yet, lad.
- Spur: He's not a lad, brother, he's man.”
Kirk Douglas - Harrison
Kirk Douglas - Spur

“At Kent, we take bed wetters and we turn them into men. So grow-up, Barclay, it's time to forget these fantasies of killer dolls.”
Dakin Matthews - Colonel Cochrane

“- Anna: You can't be a kid your whole life, you're gonna have to grow up!
- Danny Costanzo: Why? I don't like grown-ups.”
Darlanne Fluegel - Anna Costanzo
Billy Crystal - Danny Costanzo