“- Averman: Hum, Batter-batter-batter! Hum, Batter-batter-batter, Hum, Batter-batter-batter, Hey, Batter-batter-batter, Hey, Batter-batter-batter, Swing, Batter-batter-batter, Hum, batter-batter-batter...
- Bombay: Averman! It's hockey! There's no batter! Idiot!”
Matt Doherty - Les Averman
Emilio Estevez - Gordon Bombay

“- Jesse Walsh: Schneider shouldn't have called you out on that last play.
- Ron Grady: Yeah, well, Schneider's got a stick up his ass today.
- Jesse Walsh: Schneider's always got a stick up his ass.”
Mark Patton - Jesse Walsh
Robert Rusler - Ron Grady

“The reason they call it 'golf' is that all the other 4 letter words were used up.”
Leslie William Nielsen

“- Alexander Sebastian: That's almost great.
- Jill Baker: Who painted it?
- Alexander Sebastian: A woman. No man could be so malicious.”
Burgess Meredith - Alexander Sebastian
Merle Oberon - Jill Baker

“- Ma Flodder: Where did you find that? That face I haven't seen for ten years.
- Johnnie: It was under your bed.
- Ma Flodder: Away with that. I don't want to be involved with your father.
- Dochter Kees: Is that my father?
- Ma Flodder: His father, not yours.”

Nelly Frijda - Ma Flodder
Huub Stapel - Johnnie
Tatjana Simic - Dochter Kees