“- Oz Oseransky: Damn it, Jimmy. What the hell did you have to go and move in next door to me?
- Jimmy Tudeski: Oz, do you know what kind of soil they have in this back yard? I've been here two days and I've got little tomato plants...
- Oz Oseransky: Oh my God.”
Matthew Perry - Oz Oseransky
Bruce Willis - Jimmy Tudeski

“- Jimmy Livingston: I'm Jimmy.
- Chloe: I'm Chloe.
- Jimmy Livingston: Chloe! The whore next door!
- Chloe: What? Where did you hear that?
- Jimmy Livingston: My Mom, she teaches me everything.
- Chloe: Well, really, she got it wrong. I'm actually more of a bitch than a whore.
- Jimmy Livingston: A bitch. Oh yeah, a bitch. Absolutely a bitch.”
Jake Gyllenhaal - Jimmy Livingston
Marley Shelton - Chloe

“- Marcus Burnett: We're your new neighbors.
- Mike Lowrey: Don't be alarmed, we're negros.”
Martin Lawrence - Marcus Burnett
Will Smith - Mike Lowrey

“Ray, there's no doubt anymore. This is real. Your neighbors are murdering people. They're chopping them up. They're burying them in their backyard. Ray... this is Walter.”

Rick Ducommun - Art Weingartner

- Investigator Fujitsuka Natsuo: Isn't someone going to hear that and call the police?
- Detective Tony Costas: No, you see in this neighborhood they don't call the police, they just yell "Turn that shit off".

Pat Morita - Investigator Fujitsuka Natsuo
Jay Leno - Detective Tony Costas