“- Tori: I am so glad I got waxed today.
- Karen: Ugh, me too. What did you get?
- Tori: The Bald Eagle.
- Karen: I got the Bermuda Triangle.
- Lisa: The Landing Strip.
- Marcus Copeland: [as Tiffany Wilson] I got the Buckwheat.”
Jessica Cauffiel - Tori
Busy Philipps - Karen
Jennifer Carpenter - Lisa
Marlon Wayans - Marcus Copeland

“All my life I had to fight. I had to fight my daddy. I had to fight my uncles. I had to fight my brothers. A girl child ain't safe in a family of men, but I ain't never thought I'd have to fight in my own house!”
Oprah Winfrey - Sofia

“[as Gammy Num-Nums] And yet, Backstreet Boy, this is one girl who isn't content to be the Malcolm in your middle!”
Dana Carvey - Pistachio Disguisey

- Barry: Hey Dante! My girlfriend and I caught you on the news the other night.
- Dante: No shit? And by “girlfriend" do you mean that piece of rabbit fur you rub on your dick every night?
- Barry: [laughing hysterically] Yes.
Jonah Hill - Barry
Peter Dante - Dante

“- Stacey: You think my sister is a hoe or somethin'? You think she a fuckin' toy?
- Young Mike: Naw, man I think she’s purdy!”
De'aundre Bonds - Stacey
Sean Nelson - Young Mike