How about these stupid letters from kids to Santa at the North Pole: "Dear Santa, Can you send me a bike and a slinky?" No! Your father's been laid off!
Sinbad - Myron Larabee

“- Maurice Doyle: Daddy, where's the carriages?
- Desmond Doyle: Santa was a bit strapped for cash this year. Costs a lot of money to feed those elves, you know.”

Hugh McDonagh - Maurice Doyle
Pierce Brosnan - Desmond Doyle

“Hello? Who? Oh. Listen, bitch, I'll get the kid a few toys for Christmas, so don't bug me! Yeah, I know it's only a few days till Christmas, what do you think? Think I live under a rock or something?”

Bob Jones - Grover

“- Aunt Edna: You're the ones who sent me the fruitcake for Christmas. It made me so sick!
- Ellen Griswold: Oh, we're sorry. We thought you enjoyed fruitcake.
- Aunt Edna: Do you enjoy throwing up every five minutes Claude?”
Imogene Coca - Aunt Edna
Beverly D'Angelo - Ellen Griswold

“We're not just doing this for us. We're doing it for the kids. For every kid who ever sat on Santa's lap. For every little girl who left cookies and milk for Santa on Christmas night. For every little boy who opens a package Christmas morning and finds clothes instead of toys. It breaks my heart.”
Jim Belushi - Mall Santa