“In just a few hours you can be assured of going down in history as the Typhoid Mary of Oz. G'day.”
Dougray Scott - Sean Ambrose

“- Buck Bretherton: Well how 'bout that, a side we don't have to fix.
- Harry Hogge: [kicks that door panel] I don't want you sto be spoiled, Buck.”
John C. Reilly - Buck Bretherton
Robert Duvall - Harry Hogge

“- Sister Mary Clarence: Hey Father Thomas, what's happenin'?
- Father Thomas: What's happening is I've been sent to deliver a message like I'm working for Western Union instead of the Roman Catholic Church.”
Whoopi Goldberg - Sister Mary Clarence
Brad Sullivan - Father Thomas

“Some people find it ironical that although we run a travel agency, we've never been outside of Blaine.”
Fred Willard - Ron Albertson

“Define irony. Bunch of idiots dancing on a plane to a song made famous by a band that died in a plane crash.”

Steve Buscemi - Garland 'The Marietta Mangler' Greene