“- Lori Campbell: What are you doing? I thought you were gonna quit.
- Gibb: I only smoke when I drink now.
- Kia Waterson: But you're always drinking.”
Monica Keena - Lori Campbell
Katharine Isabelle - Gibb
Kelly Rowland - Kia Waterson

“I'm not a perfect person. I see a buck on the ground, I pick it up. Sometimes I take more than 10 items right through the express lane, and I have a temper, like my neighbor plays his music too loud. So I killed him, I cut him up and I put him in my freezer. I'm just kidding! Just breaking the tension!”
Tom Arnold - Franklin Laszlo

“- Annie McHugh: Remember, a major part of our training was to remain asexual.
- Rodzinski: I am asexual: a sexual fiend!”
Cindy Williams - Annie McHugh
Gerrit Graham - Rodzinski

“- Matt Jensen: I'm in a dry spell, man.
- Dustin Knight: To be in a dry spell you've had to have been in a wet spell.
- Matt Jensen: I've had sex.
- Dustin Knight: Yeah, with a human, though.
- Matt Jensen: Who's making up all these rules, man?”
Vince Vieluf - Matt Jensen
Adam Brody - Dustin Knight

“- Crook #1: One hundred and twenty-five years without a woof of pussy. How'd that make you feel, Mason?
- Crook #2: Mean. Very, very mean!”